Need some serious help My woman hates guns

[JIMMYK1978]

I will try to get right to the point on this, the woman I have been seeing for a little while is someone who was never exposed to guns, I on the other hand am the complete opposit. It has been a part of life since a young age. It got the feeling that she did not dislike guns, just did not know them.

Long story short I got her to go to the range yesterday and do some shooting. This went very well she picked it up quickly and had a good time. Well the problem really came to light this morning. She works part time at a bar that is not located in a great part of town. Well last night even though she was not working there was a shooting outside the bar.

Well this whole incident freaked her out, She says to me this is why I hate guns and good luck ever getting me to go shooting again. Right now I am beside myself with this comment because I understand how unrational the resoning behind it is. My problem I am at a loss on how to approach this issue with her. So far I have not come out and voiced my opinion on this as I am afraid is will not come out well based on how truly upset I am about this right now.


I am looking for suggestions on this any help will be apprectiated.

Thanks

[GreaseMonkeySRT]

Find another woman.

OR

Give her all of the stats in regards to how guns can be saving grace, which will prove her wrong, probably piss her off, and she might leave you.

[x98myers7]

she is having an emotional knee-jerk reaction to the shooting

it won't "hit" her for another couple days until she realizes the truth: it could happen to anyone at any time

patience

[who dat]

Here's 2, stick around here and you'll get hundreds:


I don't carry a gun...

... to kill people. I carry a gun to keep from being killed.

I don't carry a gun to scare people. I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.

I don't carry a gun because I'm paranoid. I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.

I don't carry a gun because I'm evil. I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.

I don't carry a gun because I hate the government. I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.

I don't carry a gun because I'm angry. I carry a gun so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.

I don't carry a gun because my sex organs are too small. I carry a gun because I want to continue to use those sex organs for the purpose for which they were intended for a good long time to come.

I don't carry a gun because I want to shoot someone. I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.

I don't carry a gun because I'm a cowboy. I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a cowboy.

I don't carry a gun to make me feel like a man. I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.

I don't carry a gun because I feel inadequate. I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate.

I don't carry a gun because I love it. I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------


On June 27, in the case of Castle Rock v. Gonzales, the Supreme Court found that Jessica Gonzales did not have a constitutional right to police protection...
local officials fell back upon a rich history of court decisions that found the police to have no constitutional obligation to protect individuals from private individuals. In 1856, the U.S. Supreme Court (South v. Maryland) found that law enforcement officers had no affirmative duty to provide such protection. In 1982 (Bowers v. DeVito), the Court of Appeals, Seventh Circuit held, "...there is no Constitutional right to be protected by the state against being murdered by criminals or madmen."

[Mouse08]

she is having an emotional knee-jerk reaction to the shooting

it won't "hit" her for another couple days until she realizes the truth: it could happen to anyone at any time

patience

Let the topic go for now. Wait for her to bring it up.

[Astrogiblet]

Like others have said, shes just having an emotional reaction to what happened. Give her a few days to cool off and forget the horror aspect of it and she'll probably be back to how she was before the shooting happened.

[pgaplayerless]

Who cares really? People have the right to feel however they want to. As long as she doesn't try to mess with your 2A I don't see how it's a problem.

[Shyster]

Give it a few days and see if she gets more reasonable. FWIW, that would be a dealbreaker for me if that behavior continued. Don't need to go into or continue a relationship with someone holding such different views on an issue important to me. My wife feels just as I do about politics and 2A.

[JIMMYK1978]

Well, I think I have calmed down a little bit but it is still eating at me. I apprecite the suggestions, I think I am going to let this topic sit for a few days then confront it and see where she really stands. I do agree though this could be a deal breaker if it goes the wrong way. Well you have to stick with what you believe in.

[Astrogiblet]

Well, I think I have calmed down a little bit but it is still eating at me. I apprecite the suggestions, I think I am going to let this topic sit for a few days then confront it and see where she really stands. I do agree though this could be a deal breaker if it goes the wrong way. Well you have to stick with what you believe in.


I wouldn't necessarily consider it a deal breaker. She can hate guns all she wants as long as shes not 1) outspoken about it to you, and 2) not going to stop you from buying/selling/trading/shooting/playing with guns..

I'm sure lots of people on this forum are in that kind of a relationship. One partner quietly dislikes them, and the other is really into them.

[007bondjamesbond007]

Tell her the one requirement to owning gun and having a CPL is that you do not have a a history of Domestic Violence.

My wife was not excited about carring a gun till she was at the bank ATM with $1,000 cash and some guy walked in behind her. Nothing happened just a rude a hole.

[GreaseMonkeySRT]

Tell her the one requirement to owning gun and having a CPL is that you do not have a a history of Domestic Violence.

My wife was not excited about carring a gun till she was at the bank ATM with $1,000 cash and some guy walked in behind her. Nothing happened just a rude a hole.

Man, I hate when people get right next to me at self check-outs. That would make me seriously get extremely defensive.

[Roger Roney]

....I think I am going to let this topic sit for a few days then confront it and see where she really stands......No. As others have said, it may take a few days or weeks, but wait until she brings it up.

Roger

[romesr]

I wouldn't necessarily consider it a deal breaker. She can hate guns all she wants as long as shes not 1) outspoken about it to you, and 2) not going to stop you from buying/selling/trading/shooting/playing with guns..

I'm sure lots of people on this forum are in that kind of a relationship. One partner quietly dislikes them, and the other is really into them.
He's right am in one

[TDANGELO11]

You're taking the completely wrong approach to this brother! This is the perfect excuse to get away if she is driving you nuts...go to the range! She won't go!

You'll have at least one way to get away and possibly hang out with the buds at the range!

[JIMMYK1978]

You're taking the completely wrong approach to this brother! This is the perfect excuse to get away if she is driving you nuts...go to the range! She won't go!

You'll have at least one way to get away and possibly hang out with the buds at the range!


I like the way you think.

[SMUDGE]

I tell the people I talk to when you go for a drive you put on a seatbelt not because you are expecting to get into an accident but because you are taking extra measure to protect yourself. You keep batteries in your smoke detector, lock your door when you leave, have a fire extinguisher. You don't expect bad things to happen but when you get into an accident your glad you wore your seat belt etc. That being said these guys are right my wife enjoys shooting and now everytime I go to the range its "Why didn't you take me?!"

[andoman]

My wife hated guns until I had her take a shooting class while we were in college. Then she attended a womens only shoot at the indoor range at Michigan Tech and after that she's been fine with them. She's not a "gun nut" (her term) like myself or her father but she respects guns and the rights of people to own and carry.

[Buzzcat]

This is ridiculous, everyone is seeing the forest but not seeing the trees.

If she works at a bar in a crummy part of town, perhaps the best course of action is for her to get a job at a bar in the BETTER part of town and insulate herself from the thug life.

Her fear and loathing of guns is a result of the proximity of their illegal use to where she works, and frankly, I don't blame her.

Convince her she needs to get out of the freakin' clip-joint she's working in and get into a place that's a little less insane, and see where things go.

[Mike1979]

I will just say this...

If you are like me, if you love everything gun related and she doesnt, it can make for a rough time. My wife is not against guns but she thinks its a silly hobby.

[Buzzcat]

:naughty:

[Knightrider03m]

Who cares really? People have the right to feel however they want to. As long as she doesn't try to mess with your 2A I don't see how it's a problem.

I agree. I'm only assuming that she never said anything about you have guns so I agree with pgaplaterless.

[Groo]

When I was on my second date with my wife to be, we went for a walk at one of the metro parks. someone had aparently dumped a kitten there, the attendant was a kid who found the kitten, then asked if I had a knife. The question caught me off guard, and I didn't even think to ask why he wanted a knife. I did have a knife in my Jeep, but it was one of those "This is a Knife!" knives. I was thinking "hate to scare her off already....but if this would do it, it wasn't ment to be" so I went and got the knife. I saw he was trying to get a woodtick off the kittens head with it, so I took back the knife, took the kitten, removed the tick and returned the kitten.

Basicly it sounds to me like she isn't the one for you. A sane person would be wanting a CPL in that situation to protect herself the next time it happens, not wanting even less to do with guns because they are scary instruments of the Devil.

[Done Deal]

It is tough to give tips on what might work with her because we don't know how she thinks (does any man truly know how a woman thinks---or even if she does? hehehe).

So, you might want to try the lives ruined by alcohol approach

Or, the automobile deaths approach

But, you really should see how this is going to play out now because if you get married and it doesn't work out----she could very well end up owning those guns of yours.

[tenthumbs]

Just Treat Firearms Like Everyday Objects that She is Comfortable With.:hide:

[KayL]

Come on now, be nice. This is the women's forum after all........

[autosurgeon]

If you are worried about make a trust for the guns!

[DJuan01]

I feel like women don't like guns because they eat up money that coudl be spent on something they actually have interest in.

[Knightrider03m]

Just Treat Firearms Like Everyday Objects that She is Comfortable With.:hide:

:lolup:

[Shyster]

I feel like women don't like guns because they eat up money that coudl be spent on something they actually have interest in.
:yeahthat:

[kc8opc]

I feel like women don't like guns because they eat up money that coudl be spent on something they actually have interest in.

Not true. (Well, maybe in instances where money is tight, or if the firearms outnumber her shoes!)
So far the women I work with (teach to shoot) say they like guns...as tools, that they take to the range and make marks on paper. (No silhouettes.)

But the thought that this is used on predatory "humans", even TO SAVE THEIR LIFE, runs counter to the passivity they equate with a nurturer. And to balance the two, protector and nurturer, is an art hard won.

BTW, my hubby has my "Gun List", in the order I NEED them. Now I just wish he'd hurry up with that....:007:

[KayL]

...But the thought that this is used on predatory "humans", even TO SAVE THEIR LIFE, runs counter to the passivity they equate with a nurturer. And to balance the two, protector and nurturer, is an art hard won.
Your above statement, my dear friend, is profound, and the reason I believe women have a harder time accepting the position of nurturer/protector. They are one and the same, but not all women see it that way.

[esq_stu]

How about seeing a shrink (as a couple)?

"Freud associates retarded sexual and emotional development . . . with fear and loathing of weapons." Don B. Kates, in GUNS, MURDERS, AND THE CONSTITUTION, A Realistic Assessment of Gun Control, http://www.guncite.com/journals/gun_control_katesreal.html

She needs get help. And so do you if you need to deal with her about guns. :hide:

[Shooter McNasty]

Yeah, If you guys cant "Agree to Disagree" time to move on.

Your only 30ish. You shold start hanging around Albinon College!!!

[JIMMYK1978]

So I just found out some new information today, it turns out that the guy who was shot outside the bar shot himself!! This guy took the gun out of his pants to put it in the car and shot himself in the leg while he was pulling it out. The guy runs into the bar claiming someone shot him because he was carrying illegal. Needless to say the cops arrested him for firearms charges and filing a false police report.

[sullyxlh]

she is having an emotional knee-jerk reaction to the shooting...
It ain't the knee she's jerking if one is sticking around a women that hates guns.

Ain't no s***ch worth not carrying...........

[pgaplayerless]

So I just found out some new information today, it turns out that the guy who was shot outside the bar shot himself!! This guy took the gun out of his pants to put it in the car and shot himself in the leg while he was pulling it out. The guy runs into the bar claiming someone shot him because he was carrying illegal. Needless to say the cops arrested him for firearms charges and filing a false police report.


Damn Plaxico Burress was at your GF's bar?!?!

[_DK_]

I will just say this...

If you are like me, if you love everything gun related and she doesnt, it can make for a rough time. My wife is not against guns but she thinks its a silly hobby.

My wife kinda of thinks along those lines... But she "Scrapbooks"... Talk about a silly hobby. She's spent more money on that crap over the last 4 years than I have in Computers, games and Gun related stuff Combined!...

[KayL]

It ain't the knee she's jerking if one is sticking around a women that hates guns.

Ain't no s***ch worth not carrying...........
Gentlemen, please remember that you are in the WOMEN's FORUM and that responses here require quite a bit more decorum than this. mod

[sullyxlh]

Gentlemen, please remember that you are in the WOMEN's FORUM and that responses here require quite a bit more decorum than this. mod Sorry bout that
didn't even notice what forum this was in
just kept seeing the thread topic.
On the same token though
I wouldn't expect a women to keep a guy around who was dead set against guns either.
It just ain't worth it.

[KayL]

I'll fergive ya... this time. :wink:


On the same token though
I wouldn't expect a women to keep a guy around who was dead set against guns either.
You are correct, it applies in the reverse also. I wouldn't want a girly-man that was afraid of guns, loud noises, spiders and other scary things.

[hunt-n-fool]

I'd tell her, good luck to quit work, since that is where the shooting occured,
rather than ignore the device (pistol) ignore the area it happened in.

[JIMMYK1978]

I would like to report that the situation has been resolved. As many stated it was a reaction to the inital shooting. After a long discussion 2 things became clear one she needed to quit working in that area if she is not willing to carry and she did quit. The other is that she does not hate guns she hates people who carry illegal guns. At least she understands reality and is supportive of the 2A.

[who dat]

I would like to report that the situation has been resolved. As many stated it was a reaction to the inital shooting. After a long discussion 2 things became clear one she needed to quit working in that area if she is not willing to carry and she did quit. The other is that she does not hate guns she hates people who carry illegal guns. At least she understands reality and is supportive of the 2A.
Good work with a positive ending. You have a future in politics. (I mean that in a good way!)

[Groo]

well, I'm glad the situation worked itself out.

but here is still a warning there for you to keep in mind as you go forward. She had a strong emotional reaction and refused to see logic for quite some time. sounds like they type of woman who will make your day(s) hell, because she had a dream of you cheating on her.

[Rugergirl]

This is ridiculous, everyone is seeing the forest but not seeing the trees.

If she works at a bar in a crummy part of town, perhaps the best course of action is for her to get a job at a bar in the BETTER part of town and insulate herself from the thug life.

Her fear and loathing of guns is a result of the proximity of their illegal use to where she works, and frankly, I don't blame her.

Convince her she needs to get out of the freakin' clip-joint she's working in and get into a place that's a little less insane, and see where things go.

And until she does, now is the time for her to have one of her own, she may end up needing it.
Explain the obvious to her, it's not the guns fault, it the fault of whoever pulled the trigger. I don't hate guns, but there are some people I want absolutely nothing to do with.
As far as the deal breaker thing only you can decide that, but if she is irrational you have to ask yourself, how long can you take being with someone who is irrational? If I were still single, yes it would be a deal breaker for me. There are some thing that people are very serious about, my guns is one of those.

[robertnemeth]

my wife doesn't like guns but i live in a semi-rough town and i have gotten her to let me have them in the house locked up but easy to grab if an issue occured. someone getting shot is not a reason to hate guns. if she hates guns be cause they are used to kill or maim then she might as well hate explosives gasoline and vehicles. And you did better then i did my wife wont even look at my guns if you need more advice feel free to call me at 989-484-4842

[Godfather JAM]

Refuse any knives allowed in the kitchen. Act as emotional as you can about why you don't want them in the house.

Actually I just explained I am the same person as I am without the gun. I don't become a Dr. Jeckle, Mr. Hyde and actually am more at ease when I have one on me. Guns came with me though, kinda take it or leave it. I didn't make it up for debate. I did explained why I am that way on guns.

[langenc]

Do you/she have house/auto/fire/life insurance?? WHY??

[skruske]

Well done Jimmy. Small steps in the right direction are best when dealing with a volitile and emotional subject. The all or nothing attitude is often unproductive.

Take her to the range again for some quality time.